Making a WAY in the desert

This post was initially intended for submission May 19th as part of a synchro-blog organized by Julie Clawson. a early morning visit to the ER prevented me from getting it done...at any rate here it is.

I grew up expecting God to do something....to be up to something...especially something “new”.Charismatic Christians in traditions like that of my past are eternally optimistic...instinctively believing that God is always about to be ‘up to something new’. Sure, sometimes God does something new in fairly innocuous ways and then other times...He does something crazy...like that whole Toronto Blessing thing...where sanctuaries full of ‘spirit filled believers’ pass around a contagious-side-splitting-spirit-induced laughter lasting hours on end. Back in the day, I heard many breathless and confident prophets herald God’s eminent intention to “do a new thing” with the goal of moving our church in a new or innovative direction. I lived in a chronic state of expectancy for decades...yet I could have never expected the radically uncomfortable new thing I am living today.

~Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland~ ~ Isaiah 43:18

As nouveau and 'fringy' as emergent Christianity may seem to many modern conservatives today, I surmise the plunge into the scene...errr conversation...is far from ground breaking, innovative or historically NEW. In fact, it seems obvious to me that the process of emerging and emergence have been happening in the realm of Christianity from its earliest days...That said, I confess as a 43 year old woman once steeped in ultra-conservative evangelicalism for more than 30 years...the story I currently find myself in is certainly unexpected and “NEW” to me. See, I officially jumped the ship of traditional Christianity (actually I was made to walk the plank) about two years ago, forcing me to sink like a rock deep into a dark tumultuous ocean of doubt, fear, and very little hope. There is nothing new under the sun about this kind of phenomena. However, the proliferation of safe places like cohorts, missional groups and other emergent friendly communities (proximal or virtual) willing to hold the tension we endure during the emotional and spiritual transition, is still fairly new but it is becoming more widespread.

Thankfully, before I had the chance to completely drown alone in my overwhelming fear and cynicism as a result of my shipwrecked faith, I was pulled into a tiny little life boat in the suburban desert of Arizona by a newly established Emergent Village Cohort(Emerging Desert)or EmDes as ‘we’ call it. This fledgling group was launched by a couple of friends to provide safe ‘space’ for “questioners, quitters, rebels and re-builders”, which was very good news for me as I was (and still am) all of those things. EmDes rescued me in a very real way, providing an open and safe place to dialogue about my messy journey, ask my dangerous questions and work through my sh*t without the fear of rejection or even worse, excommunication. As far as I am concerned, this alone saved my faith...

Groups of people that gather intentionally to carve out safe spaces for others in a season of liminality or transition, wrought with pain, questions, doubt, and thread bare hope...is the essence of ‘what continues to emerge in the emerging global church’...and I hope it will always be so. Some emergent voices much more informed and astute that mine, who have engaged the post-modern emergent Christian dialogue for decades, now project the movement is already imploding...a few would even pronounce it dead. I suppose that could be true in some circles and instances...But I doubt emergence Christianity will ever disappear. It seems to me as long as the institutional church exists in its current form with the issues and baggage many perceive it to have...there will always be individuals that continue to face real moments of crisis in their faith and new spiritual epiphanies, eventually they jump ship or get pushed overboard like I did...simply for daring to ask the heretical questions and dream out loud new dreams for the Kingdom of God. What is important in that moment is...finding a place to belong...asking is there room in the Kingdom of God for 'other-ness'... and can faith thrive there?!

Cohorts, missional tribes, small urban churches, emergent friendly mainstreamers as well as the less formal kitchen table conversations continue to create and hold refreshing life giving liminal and liberated spaces (or temporary autonomous zones as Brian McLaren refers to them) that will no doubt serve as life boats for countless others to cling to when they fall over-board and attempt to weather dark stormy seas of deconstruction and from there navigate the dimly lit paths of re-building faith. The current trends and over arching narrative in emergent Christianity is provocative and important...but actually living this stuff out in all it's wild diversity...in the company of honest, courageous people, is really what it's all about...it's so important, at least to me! I don't mean to minimize the problematic areas and hot topics in emergence Christianity...those are real issues that need attention, but being a part of a liberated incarnational community is all that really matters for some...especially in the very beginning stages of the journey.

On a personal note, my specific community, EmDes,is experiencing it’s own emergence within emerging. Two years beyond our mostly agonizing deconstruction-wrestling-with-God phase, both separately and collectively, we have become more sensitive to the need to move beyond all that was...towards reconstructing and rebuilding something NEW. Yet, we are in no real hurry to define it or label it. We are still in transition, a true liminality, which I recently learned leads to an increased awareness of our own shadows and those of others...I think this is true, it has been for EmDes. This awareness within the context of community is promoting deeper intimacy with each other and challenges us to be prepared to welcome others at any time who need a safe place to detox from churchianity or who need a space to present an opposing point of view. I think we are right where we are supposed to be as we continue to refine our individual and collective mission in our community of faith in the context of emerging Christianity. Our little group has turned a figurative 'emergent' corner...we are experiencing a sort of spiritual revival on many different levels...especially as it relates to praxis.

What's emerging in my little piece of the emerging church community, EmDes, is a much anticipated maturity. We are asking different questions now...we are okay not having as many answers. We are making a Way in the desert...moving forward in our conversation collectively and individually...yet we continue to hold space and tension for the next sojourner who will be hoisted into our life boat, perhaps in the same sad state we once found ourselves in...needing a safe place to experience redemption of a fragile faith and a resurrection of lost hope and lost dreams in the company of community.