Articles, blog posts and Facebook status updates offering encouraging accolades, respectful commentary and constructive criticism regarding Big Tent Christianity in Phoenix are beginning to surface and much less hastily than I would have predicted! I really wanted to weigh in on the commentary while the energy was still palpable...before the 'camp-high' wore off...Although the 'tent' is packed up (for now) and the event has been over for days, the celebrating, ruminating and pontificating is sure to continue for a while.
I expected to quickly hammer out a profound event summary after basking in unrivaled ecumenical diversity, heady academic discourse as well as some tense (but respectful) conversation surrounding electrifying hot button issues. The two day conference was an informational panacea; a conversational opportunity with dialogue hanging in the air like juicy vine ripened grapes, waiting to be plucked and savored. In an environment as rich and flavorful as this, how could anyone NOT find a gripping angle to promote or something valuable to take to the bank?
Yet, days later, I'm sifting through a bajillion mostly disconnected thoughts that are still marinating in my brain. I can't seem to get a firm grasp on any of them. As both conference participant and member of the steering team helping organize the event, I feel like I had a slightly atypical vantage point that provided me with opportunities to be wowed by the event's brilliance in one moment, like Dorothy encountering The Emerald City, and in the next instant, bump into the very human side of things, realizing that "The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz" is just a dude...hiding behind a curtain, pulling some levers and not very 'mysterious' at all. Yes, there are a lot of directions I could go with my commentary depending on which filter I use.
One the perks of being on the planning committee was reading through the post conference surveys which cataloged the opinions and suggestions of the participants in response to this 'thing' they had just experienced. In general, people overwhelmingly agreed there was much to appreciate about BTX, most notably the caliber of speakers (Fr. Richard Rohr, Brian McLaren, Carol Howard-Merritt, Anthony Smith, Rachel Held-Evans, Brian Ammons, Nadia Boltz Weber and Marcus Borg etc...) as well as the scope of their discussions. Some of what I heard from the BIG three, Borg, McLaren and Rohr, was redundant (for a conference junkie like me) leaving me to confess the best material came from the undergraduates speakers. The conference surveys supported this observation as well.
As is always the case with these kinds of events, surveys and committee debriefing exfoliate some negative feed back which is always a bit of a buzz-kill. And although it's tempting, I've decided against making the breadth of my blogpost a snarky tirade about my own personal unmet expectations or flippantly criticising the manifestation of BTX in Phoenix, an event (eventual movement)that to my knowledge hasn't been accomplished with any greater success anywhere prior.
Here's what I do want to say...Big Tent Christianity didn't fix all of our systemic issues with diversity and inequality. It didn't mend all the bridges or even commence with construction on a few. Did people really come to a freaking two day event expecting all of our multiple centuries old issues to dissipate into thin air? Seriously people. BTX is a romantic and compelling idea for unity in the body of Christ...which idealists (even closet idealists like me) latch onto...and the reality is, it's only one tiny step in a million mile march.
I recently learned and am slowly internalizing that our expectations have the potential to cause us great harm and pain. It has been true for me that when I create firm expectations and hold them up as the ideal, I eliminate all other possibilities. Artist Barry Taylor said it something like this; "We've got to give up expecting everybody to be on the same page here...it's not going to happen." So.True. However, there is one page I'd like to see us try a little bit harder to occupy together, and that's honest gender equality manifested on the conference platform. If we can't come closer to bridging the male/female divide first...I'm holding very little hope for the bigger philosophical differences.
I feel like I have to address that issue publicly because god knows I've bitched about it to anyone who would listen (yes, even the BTX guys) I'm not bitching just because gender inequality was an issue evoking huge disappointment for me but because the event surveys as well as M A N Y personal conversations with friends who also attended BTX, revealed there was a legitimate breakdown there. This oversight or neglect, has produced disillusionment with the idea that we can ever truly overcome this male-female stuff on any real practical level. I carried an understated expectation with me to the conference believing the creators of BTX understood and respected the expectation of greater gender equality to such a degree that they would necessarily execute a better example of what unity in this one area looks like. I was wrong.
I cannot pretend that I am not profoundly disappointed with the apparent inability of enlightened-progressive-emergining-Christian-men to create a gender balanced speaking line up. Really...14-15 male voices to 3 female voices is unacceptable. Here's the deal guys...we're counting on you as people endowed with privilege in places of power and influence to do this thing better! It's not enough to theoretically ascribe to an idea of gender equality...or to write about it in your books. Unless you are intentional, even sacrificial about demonstrating your convictions and giving some of your power away, everything you do comes across as insincere and untrustworthy. Leaving my former faith behind, I hoped to be abandoning mere beliefism for the more incarnational. Who is going to start living this stuff...even when it impacts their wallets or livelihood? Action talks and bullshit walks. Enough Said.
My Big Tent take away was a simple personal epiphany, sometimes I call these spiritual-shit-sandwiches. In many ways I came looking for answers to satisfy theological leanings. What I actually gleaned had little to do with specific progressive theology, postmodernity or orthodoxy. Instead, my big 'ah-ha' moment was recognizing and admitting to myself I don't care. I'm tired of atonement theories, tired of thinking about the literal bodily resurrection of Jesus verses a metaphoric one or even the Divine nature of the scriptures. I simply don't have the energy or perhaps even the intellect for that right now.
Personally, BTX became less about the dichotomy between liberal and conservative Christianity and more about truly connecting with people who are different than I am or think different than I do. It became about me having a chance to offer real friendship and hospitality, making others feel more welcome...sometimes with a beer or three! For me, Big Tent Christianity was about practicing presence with people who were formerly 'off-limits'...the abominable gays, scary heretical Jesus Seminar types as well as the aging mainliners (who were never credited with being real Christians either) What I extracted wasn't what I thought it would be...it's actually better.
Turns out...sharing conversation about God over a heady home brew IS spiritual and IT IS GOOD...(so suck it Ken Silva...you know not of what you speak) Enjoying a plastic tumbler of frothy cream ale or infamous "dark and dangerous" whisky barrel stout with my ever expanding church family and beginning to wake up to the reality that I fit somewhere, even if it's a bit theologically muddy and less defined, is okay with me right now because I get by with a little help from my friends.
I found the meatiness of Big Tent didn't end up being a theological bridge crossing over some deep doctrinal abyss...It certainly wasn't about how many sardonic tweets you could pepper the twitterverse with. It came down to people. What ultimately happened for me is that my own personal tent was made much, much bigger in the company of messy, eclectic, humble individuals experiencing spiritual reformation. I have to say...BTX boasted some crazy-skilled-tent-makers and fixers...like Anthony Smith who through sharing in my laughter and tears, inexplicably helped repair older damaged parts of my existing tent, allowing me to experience a modern day'Pentecost' and the healing spirituality of cross-cultural friendship *Thank you Anthony for your loving kindness*.
Lastly, in the spirit of Big Tent...I'd like to chat up Emerging Desert, my little faithful cohort in Mesa Arizona. We echo the sentiments of Nadia Boltz-Weber who noted that her community doesn't do anything particularly well they just do 'it' together. Ditto. If EmDes does anything...it's hospitality and home brew and yes, always better done together. Our first article of faith is that theology without beer and friendship...sucks! We boast not one but two talented home-brewers...my husband Jim (aka Jimbo Baggins Brewing) and Christian Salafia (aka Salems Brew) who both lovingly created a total of 15 gallons of pure awesomeness to share with anyone who was able to stop by the Wednesday and Thursday evening mixers! We were honored to host these sacred spaces and truly enjoyed facilitating valuable points of connection and conversation to promote an ever renewing and expanding...Big Tent.
