Thursday, February 25, 2010

SPIRITUAL SH*T-SANDWICH


There's a subtle yet undeniable force at work in the world, whether one chooses to acknowledge it or not, The 'Law of Cause & Effect' or more simply getting what you give. Some people call it Karma...others call it sowing and reaping or even living by the Golden Rule. It's a universal truism and no one religion or people group has the corner market on it...It's always at work everywhere and it's a beautiful thing...most of the time.

In its most obvious form it may manifest on a BIG grocery shopping day, when you have 137 items in your cart and reluctantly notice the gramma behind you, clutching a can of 'chunk light tuna' in one hand and a package of toilet paper in the other, sensing her impatience and urgency you are compelled to give-up your place in line...to her. Now, it's also true that you may "do unto others as you would have done unto you" many times over before the glorious day arrives that someone generously concedes their place in line to you... Ah But eventually it does happen and in those moments faith in humanity as well as in the beauty of sowing and reaping is revitalized.

However, beyond a few very pedestrian examples of "Karma come-back" unfolding daily, I have recently become aware of a bonus 'spiritual law' at work in my life...As far as I can tell...it's sole purpose seems to be to specifically help me 'keep it real'. Reminding me over and over that I see through a darkened glass (like limo tint) when it comes to truly knowing the depths of myself and understanding my own motives and actions.

In my life this phenomena is irreverently referred to by me as the "spiritual sh*t-sandwich", Irrefutably recognized as a unique hand-crafted 'situation or circumstance' served up I believe, by God almighty himself ...in order to expose and hopefully correct my hypocrisy, lack of love and arrogant egotism. I'm never exactly sure where and when a 'big-one' will get served...but statistically as I survey the past 5 years of my life, I can see definite connections to the times I've indignantly chosen to stand against a person, circumstance or idea...intending to label them/it as damned or at the very least unacceptable and wrong...which always involves passing judgement with overwhelming self-righteousness thru 'loveless' lenses of my limited perspective and tainted knowledge.

The Spiritual Sh*t sandwich...sure...it's a crass title for a spiritual law...but listen people, I've tried my best to keep the swears to a minimum here until now. For those who know me personally this is no easy task. This is one blog that cannot be sterilized for the delicate pallet... it is what it is. Now, just in case butter doesn't melt in your mouth or you've recently disposed of all your potty mouth friends after another careful study of the book of James...perhaps a few definitions regarding this spiritual phenomena would be helpful:

First, a spiritual sh*t-sandwich is not the typical everyday-variety sh*t-sandwich...While those can have a spiritual dimension depending on the topic matter...I find they are more simply the occasions when I confidently assert my assurance of an innocuous 'fact' or body of knowledge...only to find out almost immediately that I was completely and totally wrong-o. In my universe...there always seems to be a trivia pursuit champion in the immediate vicinity who knows 'the facts' and quickly corrects my misinformation...and I get 'served'...other than possible embarrassment there is little suffering involved.

The spiritual sh*t sandwich on the other hand, can certainly expose more simplistic varieties of stupidity and contradiction, but specializes in supernaturally, over time, creating a real life paradigm shift in my world. While it may take years for God to actually prepare...serving up the not-so-tasty treat seems to happen almost instantaneously, like overnight. When I've been served a 'big-one', a divine shifting and sifting occurs, promptly ushering me into a new era spiritually and emotionally...introducing me to an unusually painful new season of 'reality' that mysteriously allows me to 'walk in that other person's shoes'. It's creative force can fit me in a twinkling of an eye...with an ultra sensitive empathy-filter, allowing me to feel with extreme conviction, the exact opposite of what I did...regarding certain people and ideas...especially the repugnant political and theological ones...I think God LOVES this!

I've eaten my fair share of these sandwiches over the past 5 years...that I never ordered and never saw coming. And the most amazing thing is, I never know I've been served until long after the fact. Here's just one example:

I once was the epitome of the celebrated evangelical...I loved my life as one of God's super elite professional church goers. I loved Sunday...I loved church...I loved serving...I loved the programs...I loved the music...and I loved inviting friends! I loved it even more when those friends came and began to eventually give themselves over to loving church too. On the other hand...I could not comprehend why some people wanted nothing to do with the 'traditional' church...even a cool-contemporary-one like mine? It totally blew my mind when a person professed a vibrant faith in God yet wanted NOTHING to do with going to church! WILD!
On several occasions...I became so troubled by these confounding exchanges that I provoked hostile arguments using the Bible and sermon notes to highlight their error and delusion...hoping to lead them back into the fold.
If you know my story up to now, you know that I no longer 'go' to church in the traditional institutional sense. I don't even know how that happened...I don't feel as though I choose this path. In fact, I'm not sure if I was pushed (for my own safety of course) or if I jumped on my own volition, off what felt to me like a sinking ship. At any rate...I fell out of love for the entire church process...I don't believe in most of the popular manifestations currently available to me. Today, church for me has become more specifically about who I am in relationship to Jesus and the Kingdom He came to establish. One of the ways I express that each week is by hanging out at my house with a small group of skeptics, outsiders, questioners, quitters, dreamers and rebuilders...

That, my friends, is a CLASSIC spiritual sh*t sandwich . I am now the person that I previously misunderstood...judged...condemned...and dismissed as useless in context to the body of Christ...ahhhhh...how ironic. There are too many examples of this powerful spiritual law at work in my life for me to share here...the above is just the most significant and life altering to date...And as hard to swallow as a 'Spiritual-sh*t-sandwich' can be...I truly believe that as a result of eating my share...I walk a little more humbly today ( and closer to Jesus) than I once did and that's a very good thing for everyone!

If you have a 'Spiritual-shit-sandwich' experience you'd like to share...I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT!

11 comments:

  1. Joy,

    This is, perhaps, the most enlightening, most important, spiritually deepest blog I have read in quite a while.

    It takes great courage to realize the aftertaste of that sh*t sandwich and realize why you had it served to you.

    There's so much truth (yikes, the "t" word) in the words you wrote... I love it!

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  2. Ha...MY spiritual sh*t sandwich is the exact opposite.

    I DISDAINED "God people". How could they be so naive/sure/detached/perky/unsophisticated??

    Now, I guess I'm sort of one of them.

    The fact that lately I've sort of been craving a church service (*gasp*) is like the moldy olive topping on that triple decker shit sandwich.

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  3. I LOVE this post, Joy. Not sure I'm ready to serve up any of my SSS stories just yet... but perhaps in the near future. :^D

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  4. Dear friends...thanks for reading and for hearing what I'm trying to say...I had to use the swears...ya know? It makes it authentic!
    @Christian...thanks for your encouragment...especially on this post.
    @saraH...I love that you are exploring 'the church' in all it's manefestations...I'm pretty sure your experience will NEVER look as unfortunate as mine...you are too FAR along in your journey to become 'the church-lady' in a bad way. (o:
    @moff...geeze thanks for reading! I CANNOT wait for you to share!

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  5. Good stuff, Joy! I loved this sentence:
    "I am now the person that I previously misunderstood...judged...condemned...and dismissed as useless in context to the body of Christ...ahhhhh...how ironic."

    I think most of my shit sandwiches these days happen when I have conversations with people whose opinions I have a hard time understanding. Many times I begin to understand their perspective and see beauty amidst our differences.

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  6. @Craig...Hey friend! What a lovely surprise to see you here...Thanks for your comment...and I hear you...I have so much work to do in the area of granting grace to people I find myself actively at odds with...It requires setting aside preconceptions and really listening...not something I excel at. I have always had such a black-white understanding of the world I live in...that I imagine I'll be eating shit sandwiches til' the end.

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  7. ah, such good stuff joy. thanks for sharing. my favorite line was the same one as craig's, too. oh i can't tell you how many "tasty" treats i have eaten and continue to eat, ha ha. love you.

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  8. Well, I've eaten a few and I've served a few. Lord, forgive me when I don't know what I'm doing. Good post, Joy. :)

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  9. How many calories are in a shit sandwich?

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  10. It is a humbling experience to be on the other side of the judgment..

    I grew up with the same "rightness" and was very condemning of people ... people who were divorced, people who live together, people who well..anything I deemed as non christian. Now I am that person. I feel that I have been humbled by my experience and at least now that I'm on the other side, I can understand where that person judging is coming from even though they don't understand my perspective but it's ok, I'll be at the truck stop in their journey when they need a rest from all the energy it takes to make sure everyone else is doing the "right" thing.

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